没有结果的未来叫做什么？

近来，网上出现了许多许多的哲学家，我也想凑一下热闹，就为了表现一下我那成熟透彻的思考能力和那帅得不得了的性格。
我不否认最近很热，热到我差点着凉感冒；妈的……冷气对着来吹，不死都半条命了！不过，这和主题无关，我只是顺便说说而已。

嗱嗱嗱……为什么我突然间沉默了那么久，又慢慢的从水里急速冒出呢？很简单，因为我没有东西要讲！

浸淫在情情爱爱中那弥漫朦胧，雾里看花，若隐若现，烟雨蒙蒙，盲人摸象，欲迎还拒的气氛里，大多数人都是头脑不清醒的；可是，当失败来临的时候，他们则会摇身一变成为问世间情为何物的哲学家，科学家，心理学家，化学家，和仙家。

为什么呢？因为他们都知道没有结果的未来叫什么。

我很三生不幸的，不知道没有结果的未来叫什么，不过我很肯定，没有结果的未来就是因为你以前没有播种，所以未来没有结果。记得，要播种，搞大肚子后不就有结果咯！笨！

我就是要缓慢行驶啊！你吹BB啊？

今天，很不幸的，发觉后轮胎瘪掉了……。

开着double signal，一路缓缓驶向距离大概几百meter的维修点。那个扁塌塌瘪了的轮胎还不时噗哧噗哧的笑我……。

一路上，左右两边的车都没有给我什么问题，我也尽量不挡着交通流量，能够闪左边的地方，我尽量靠左。

不巧，交通灯转红 ，我又是第一位，只好停下咯……没理由叫我冲红灯的吧？

这时，后面来了一辆越野车，一公一母高高在上的瞪着我。可能他们俩没有看过开着double signal停在红灯前的车吧？

眼看青灯就快到来，进牙踩油，先缓缓行驶……免得挡到后面的巨无霸，阻碍地球转。

可是，后面的越野车发了神经，不止贴我屁股，还闪我高灯；我嘛尽量咯……一过了路口马上闪去左边，也不能说马上，毕竟爆胎了的车，能走得多快？

他妈的巨无霸……一路响笛然后做状好像是要闪我酱，急速往右转从我旁边飞逝而过……。那个母的还在车上斜眼不肖的望着我。

我干！难道要我驾时速80啊？？？一过了路口我就马上让位了，你还想怎样？不如你来帮我驾车，我来帮你按你的死人horn 好不好？屌！

写部落格可以治癌

ok ok……不是我的原创题目。别打我。

听了吉安的节目，我有些话想说：

别说写部落格可以治癌；抽烟也能长命百岁啦……。
问题是，发生的几率少到就如射到厕所马桶里的精子还能够找得到卵子酱咯……。 哈哈哈哈哈哈

为何有人写部落格写到暴毙？为何有人玩网络游戏玩到暴毙？
简单啦……你有没有听过人家吃粥暴毙？有没有听过人家听电台听到暴毙？
肯定没有啦！因为都不逻辑的！想要跟逻辑扯上一点点关系都是问题。

酱为何有人写部落格写到暴毙呢？其实……就如有人玩网络游戏暴毙酱咯……。
焦点不是写部落格，也不是网络游戏；而是体能体质的问题。
刘墉曾经说过，不要模糊焦点！我们不是因为半夜驾车容易发生车祸，而是因为睡眠不足去驾车而发生车祸！

不过，许多人倒爱听一些新奇事（尤其是那些勉强能够扯上少少逻辑的个案。简直厉害！）

爆强薪水–亡命聘请.Net & ASP Developer 和 Oracle System Analyst/ERP Consultant

职位：.Net Developer
职务：专注开发一家上市公司的内用MRP系统。Web based application 而已！
薪水：3千++
地点：甲洞
福利：公司实属制造业，铜臭味一流。如果你不是很新鲜的新鲜人，欢迎接受挑战。
联络：我
备注1：甲洞消费不高。
备注2：年轻俊俏单身男性尤佳。很多熟女会泡你。

职位：Oracle System Analyst或ERP Consultant
职务：专注customize一家国际公司的内用MRP系统。Web based application 而已！
薪水：4千++
地点：Mont Kiara
福利：公司实属医药业，伟哥任你吃，车油任你claim，Parking任你选。如果你是新鲜人，不欢迎你接受挑战，老板是德国佬。
联络：我
备注1：全公司使用苹果电脑，若给你一架价值RM7999的Macbook Pro你都要嫌的话，那么我没话说了。
备注2：年轻貌美单身女性尤佳。我要泡你。

公开至找到人为止。 妈的！工找人啊！

Laptop Delivery

Client : “I have placed the order on Tuesday afternoon 5pm, how soon do you think we could get the laptop? Could you deliver it on Friday?”
Me : “The delivery for this HP Laptop is usually 7 working days or within 2 weeks. It’s considerably shorter than Lenovo ThinkPad T series where it takes up to 1 month to arrive. I’m sorry, Friday is not possible.”

On Friday.
Client: “Can you deliver the laptop today? Please?”
Me : “Err… … I’m sorry I can’t, If I ever have the stock on hand, I would have deliver it to you by now already.”

Next Monday.
Client : ” Do you think you can deliver the laptop today? When is the laptop going to arrive? I would like to have the laptop before hari raya.”
Me : “I’m sorry, but the laptop will take 7 working days or 2 weeks to arrive. This is what the distributor told me. It’s a direct HP distributor already, no one can be faster than a direct distributor lar… …”
(Unless you go smuggle in some illegal non-warranted laptop)

Tuesday.
Client : “Hello, can you deliver the laptop today ah?”
Me : “Err… …. I can’t. It is not that I do not want to deliver the laptop to you. It has not arrive yet.”
Client : ” They want to work during the raya break lar… …”
Me : “I understand, but no matter how I yell or rush the distributor or even burn their warehouse, the laptop will not arrive any earlier.”

After Raya, Monday… …
Client : “Hello, is the laptop arrive yet? They need to laptop already… … Please… …”
Me : “(Dumb fucked)”
Me : ” I will forward you what the distributor had told me. The laptop will definitely arrive this week and mostly Wednesday we could get the laptop, as mentioned in the email. I dare not guarantee that it will arrive on Wednesday as the distributor also mention that it is the arrival of the laptop, it doesn’t mean the release of the laptop. It all depends on how fast HP collaborate with the distributor.”

Tuesday
Client : ” (Repeat the same question again)”
Me : “( Repeat the same shit again.)”

Wednesday
Cient : “(Repeat the same question again)”
Me : ” (Repeat the same shit again.)”

I think I’m gonna receive the same call again in another 8 hours.
God damn! It is not that I do not want to deliver your god damn expensive imported laptop, but the distributor is the one who fucks up so much.

If you don’t get your god damn laptop this week, then only you come disturb me day and night. If you keep calling me everyday, I would just get annoyed and it doesn’t help at all in getting your god damn fucking laptop. Why the hell you keep pushing me when I have already give you a waiting period??????? Push me for what??? It’s not like HP is going to ship your laptop using a private jet and solely for 1 laptop… …

Blame me as you wish. Things that I cannot promise, I will not promise.

No wonder Malaysia is filled with empty promises… … that’s because we force other people to make empty promises.

本人出游

两天后再见。